Being with Anna is easy. She’s the one.”
The one. It stops my heart. I thought Max was the one, but… there’s that other one.
The first one.
“Do you believe in that?” I ask quietly. “In one person for everyone?”
Something changes in St Clair’s eyes. Maybe sadness. “I can’t speak for anyone but myself,” he says. “But, for me, yes. I have to be with Anna. But this is something you have to figure out on your own. I can’t answer that for you, no one can.”
“Lola.” He rolls his chair over to my side. “I know things are shite right now. And in the name of friendship and full disclosure, I went through something similar last year. When I met Anna, I was with someone else. And it took a long time before I found the courage to do the hard thing. But you have to do the hard thing.”
I swallow. “And what’s the hard thing?”
“You have to be honest with yourself.
But that falling in love bit … because I write romance, and love is the arc … that falling in love is the trickiest bit of all.
Étienne St. Clair was easy to fall in love with. He was, in an odd way, my first. I fell for him deeply and immediately. Because of this, Cricket Bell — the boy in Lola’s story — through no fault of his own, became a challenge. The overactive method side of me felt as if I were cheating on Étienne, and it took several months for me to mentally make that switch, for me to fall in love with Cricket as deeply as I had with Étienne.
Last week, I began having terrible struggle dreams. Each night, I was forced to leave my husband and fall in love with someone else. It was sad and painful. It was just plain wrong. And it took three nights of these dreams before I realized that my unconscious was telling me that it was time to let go of Cricket and fall in love with the new boy.
It’s also nerve-wracking, and … kind of exciting. The strangest thing of all was something I realized this morning, while emailing a friend: Isla has had a crush on This Boy for three years (plot-wise), and I have had a crush on This Boy for three years (when the idea for the novel first occurred to me), and now it’s time for us both to actually get together and fall in love.
Cricket is inspired by three people, Etienne by two.
They’re out there. 0_0
YA meme » [1/10] ten series or books »
↳ Anna and the French Kiss by Stephanie Perkins
“I miss Paris, but it’s not home. It’s more like … I miss this. This warmth over the telephone. Is it possible for home to be a person and not a place? Bridgette used to be home to me. Maybe St. Clair is my new home. I mull this over as our voices grow tired and we stop talking. We just keep each other company. My breath. His breath. My breath. His breath. I could never tell him, but it’s true. This is home. The two of us.